Healthy Boundaries as a Pastor

Types of Boundaries
Functional Boundaries (Our Martha parts, Luke 10:38-42)
Relational Boundaries (Our Mary parts, Luke 10:38-42)
Precedent Boundaries
Protective Boundaries
Invitational and Permission Boundaries
Preparing for a Healthier Future Boundaries
Common Boundary Myths:
“If I Set Boundaries, I’m Being Selfish”
“If I Set Boundaries, I Will Hurt Others”
“Boundaries Mean That I Am Angry”
“When Others Set Boundaries, It Injures Me”
“Boundaries Cause Feelings of Guilt”
“Boundaries Are Permanent and I’m Afraid of Burning Bridges”
Important Boundaries for Pastors to Establish
-
Work Life vs. Home Life Boundaries
-
Being a Pastor vs. Being a Human Boundaries
-
Sexual/Relational Boundaries
-
Financial/Ethical Boundaries
-
Theological Boundaries
-
Pastoral vs. Personal Spirituality Boundaries
-
Confidentiality vs. Disclosure and Rebuke Boundaries
Barriers to Healthy Boundaries for Pastors
​
-
Wounds and unmet needs that leave us fearful and dependent
-
Fear of anger responses; fear of reminders of past angry responses
-
Fear of the unknown; “I’m not sure how they will respond if I begin to set limits”
-
Fear of being re-wounded and trespassed on again; “It didn’t work the last time I tried”
-
Guilty feelings of being honest, loving and fair to oneself
-
Fear of loss of relationship; fear of abandonment
-
Lack of perseverance, commitment and consistency in boundary setting
-
Others threats and manipulative “power moves” in response to our boundaries
-
Others lack of caring or response to our boundaries; (repeated trespasses)
-
Inability to say no to your own destructive impulses
-
Tendency to be attracted to irresponsible or hurtful people and then try to “fix” them
-
Taking responsibility for other people’s lives
-
Tendency to be easily manipulated or controlled
-
Struggles with intimacy and maintaining closeness with othersInability to confront others and resolve conflicts productively
Contact me if…
​
-
If you would like to learn more about how the importance boundaries in your personal life can have on your ability to serve in your ministry
-
If you would like for me to conduct a training in-service to your church leadership about the importance of boundaries in our personal and professional lives
-
If you would like for me to conduct a church community presentation to your church members about the importance of boundaries as individuals, families and a larger church community
-
If you would like to know about more resources available in regards to establishing healthy boundaries in personal and professional life
-
If you have any questions or suggestions that are not covered in this section or the featured articles offered